dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
