What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
