I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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