Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
