im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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