A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
