i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
