its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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