Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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