Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize