Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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