It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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