I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
