k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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