Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize