distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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