I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
This toilet bowl is my home.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
