aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
