i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
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