Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
