i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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