tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
