walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
