We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
