The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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