there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
