He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize