I'm gonna have a badass scar
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
