I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize