What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
