Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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