see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize