I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
