Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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