I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
