Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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