I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
