and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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