I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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