dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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