3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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