What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
