Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Semen is not good for contacts.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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