How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
