I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
