I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
