Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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