i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
