Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
