The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize