We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
