New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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