My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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