I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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