We're facebook friends in real life
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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