I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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