btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
