doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize