hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize