Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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