I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
