and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
