We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
are you so shy because you have an std?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
