9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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