Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
