Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
