so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
