i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
