it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
